Why I Disappeared (And What's Different Now)

I haven’t written here—or anywhere—in over a year.

Not because I didn’t have things to say. I had too much. And none of it felt like it could fit into words while I was still inside it. I also decided that I needed to process things, so it doesn’t all feel as if I am dumping my pain onto you.

In July 2023, our home was burned down in an arson attack while we were sleeping. Two of our dogs didn’t make it out. We lost everything we owned. After that happened, I felt extreme grief, sadness, and helplessness. Everything was in the hands of authorities I didn’t have much trust in, my only trust was in God, and that kept me going. Faith is one of the main things that kept me going.

The months that followed were about survival first, then rebuilding. I won’t lie to you; I felt an extreme amount of anger, injustice, and pain. I felt like a victim, and that story left me in a resentful, heavy cycle. I felt as if I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was afraid, angry, and I didn’t know what to do with it all. The loss wasn’t just the physical house, the dogs, or the life we loved; it was my nervous system. My sense of safety. My relationship with visibility and taking up space when someone’s unhealed shadow had tried to erase us. I knew this is what she wanted us to feel because that was her pain she wanted to project. She had no tools to help herself. Her ability to reflect was non-existent.

I could have made that the center of my story. The trauma. The survival. The comeback.

But I didn’t want to build a life or a brand on being a victim, on what was done to me.

I wanted to build it on what I did next. I’ve always wanted women to know that no matter where they are in life, there is light, and there is a way.

What changed:

When I started working with color therapy many years ago, I helped people work through feelings no other mentor allowed. I was able to make space for so much pain to heal and reveal itself. The issue was the message; due to its colorfulness; wasn’t taken seriously. People used to book color readings so they could hear about their personalities, but I wanted to show them how they could get deeper in touch with who they truly are, peel off the stories, and find the one that came from within.

After the fire, I felt a strong conviction to continue this work, but also to reach more people. So I changed it to The Cringe Method. I knew color therapy worked. I knew nervous system healing mattered. But I hadn’t yet named the thing I’d been teaching for a decade.

Shadow work isn’t optional spiritual fluff. It’s not a luxury for people who have time to journal and meditate. It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself—to take charge of your life instead of letting pain “drive the car” of your life. Unhealed cringe turns into toxic jealousy, toxic rage, shame, things that destroy us and the people around us.

That woman’s unhealed shadow nearly killed my family.

I kept asking myself: what if the system had helped her heal? How beautiful everything would’ve turned out with her, not in spite of her.

And instead of making me a victim, it made me more committed to this work.

Because here’s what I know now: The parts of yourself you’ve been calling cringe the awkward, the uncomfortable, the “too much” aren’t what’s holding you back. They’re your power waiting to be integrated.

And the parts you’re refusing to look at? They’re running your life whether you acknowledge them or not.

What’s coming:

This newsletter is where I’ll share both the teaching and the real stories.

Some weeks, I’ll teach you color therapy practices, nervous system tools, pattern breakdowns, boundary scripts the methods I’ve used with clients for over a decade.

Other weeks, I’ll show you what it looks like to face your cringe in real time. My moments of shrinking. How I’m applying the method in my own life. What it looks like to rebuild not just a house, but a whole life from the ground up.

I’ll also share tools and resources I’ve discovered that actually support transformation.

It’s about becoming real with yourself and your life. It’s about integrating the trauma.

If you’re tired of making yourself small to keep the peace, if you’re done with spiritual bypassing and want something real, if you understand that shadow work isn’t optional stay.

For now, I’m just glad to be back.

Love,
Walaa